you haunt me.
in everything I do,
from my waking life to my lucid feverish dreams.
in groggy memories of the past that sweep over me,
brought on by scent,
and sound.
when will I let your ghost rest?
I shouldn't have let the trivial pettiness of loose friendships
invade the truth of what we had.
one day I will let it go.
just as I have let go of those petty people who called themselves friends.
all I can do is chalk it up to being young.
and eager for anything self destructive.
it was far easier to self destruct than be honest with myself.
or you.
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